Spoilers for “3 p.m. to 4 p.m.” below:

Things that happened

You know all that stuff I said last week about Phillip Bauer not being a convincing villain? Well, he is. At least for the first 55 minutes of this episode. He schemes and plots and outsmarts Jack Bauer! He brandishes a gun at his own grandson! He threatens his daughter-in-law with violence! He makes his own son kneel down and points a gun at his head! And then he… runs away. Like really swiftly. As Jack almost cries and apologizes for being who he is. That part is really more confusing than it is villainous. But still — a marked improvement for the Evil Bauer.

I could go into more detail but it really hasn’t all come together yet. We begin with Milo being awesome and trying to get Marilyn to safety. Unfortunately, she is a woman on 24 and thus is incapable of doing anything but screaming, whining and looking baffled by simple concepts. Milo gets shot (non-fatally), but manages to hold Phil’s men off until Jack rushes in and saves the day.

From there, Jack finds out that his dad is evil and hatches a plan to take his father down. Unfortunately, stupidity does not run in the Bauer family gene pool, and Philip gets the drop on Jack, forcing him to meet him on a rooftop, unarmed, in order to get the kid back. Jack does, and it’s then that he and dad have a teary conversation. It looks like Jack is done for, but before we know it, Phillip has run off, leaving only a cellphone.

And who’s on the other end? Why, President Logan, of course. With a beard. Outstanding.

In other plot lines, the Russian Grudenko is nowhere to be found, but he’s still working with Fayed to set off more bombs. Lennox has second thoughts about betraying the president, so Chad Lowe knocks him the hell out. Getting knocked out by Chad Lowe is embarrassing. Chad’s got someone coming in who will kill the President and pin it on Assad. And, lastly, Morris O’Brian finds out that I’ve been spelling his last name wrong in my recaps, and is compelled to start drinking again.

Things that were good

• Gregory Itzen is back with a beard. Everyone should come back with a beard. It signifies that time has passed! Right now this all seems illogical and implausible. How would a disgraced former president be any help at all to a federal agent on the hunt for nuclear devices, but President Logan is hilarious and we’ll probably get to see Jean Smart again so I am so much in favour of this twist.
• Like I said above, Phillip Bauer was on as the bad guy this week, terrorizing people like nobody’s business. He’s got a calm to him that really works in otherwise tense situations. Now that Jack knows what he’s up against, I’m feeling a lot better about the long-term prospects of this season.
• Milo did not die. And he is getting a medal. These are fantastic developments.

Things that were not so good

• The White House plot is still telegraphed. And why even pay D.B. Woodside to appear in episodes like this? Is the director like “Okay, Woody, in this episode you need to get into the headscape of a person writing some notes on a speech.”
• Also, Chad Lowe could never convincingly knock a man to the ground. I don’t care what kind of momentum he built up.
• Marilyn Bauer is stupid. I’m convinced that Jack is the father of her son, but now I am wondering if she is also Kim’s mother, because they share similar levels of stupidity. Seriously, Milo tells her to “run for cover” and she “screams, ducks and points at the fence.” There is no excuse for that.
• Can you really just walk outside CTU to the corner store like Morris did? Wouldn’t most corner stores be closed seeing as how a nuclear device went off a few hours ago? Should I still even be asking these questions?

Worth Watching If…

You want to see a great performance from James Cromwell. And if you like intrigue! And callbacks to last season. Never has 24 done such a direct sequel to a previous season, and it’s very interesting to see how they’re pulling it off.

In Five Words

He Has A Beard Now

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