This week was a busy one. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. People were buried, people were arrested, people got knocked up and some people even insulted Jesus. That last people would be me. Who knew with a readership this small, I’d get hate emails? But I’m not going to write about any of those. No sir. Yes, Anna Nicole was buried, but there was not the showdown between Larry and Howard I was hoping for. The Oscars were this week, but they were long, uneventful and more often than not, confusing. With Britney and Lindsay in rehab, the bad teen star of the week was…Charlotte Church! Charlotte Church? Yes, Charlotte Church! The adorable little soprano that even my grandmother loves. You know it’s a slow week when that’s the biggest story.

On a personal note, today is my sister’s birthday. She never reads this site, so giving her a shout-out is like hoping Rob and Amber will lose (pointless and energy-wasting), but out of family obligations, I will do it anyways.

Happy Birthday Jill! Take it hard to the rim, and you’ll do fine.

That wasn’t supposed to be dirty.

Charlotte Church to have a bastard child

Hey, if you want to write hate emails to someone, send one to Charlotte Church. She’s 21! And unwed! And with child!

What’s more awesome is that she was obviously planning a quickie wedding, but discussion over her weight led her to believe it is far better for the world and your fans — including the 87 year old devout Christians to whom I introduce all my good boyfriends to as ‘my good friend’ — that being pregnant is far, far better than having people think you’re getting fat.

On her site, Charlotte claims

In an ideal world, we would not have made this announcement so early in the pregnancy. However, due to recent speculation and persistent questions from the media about this most private of matters, Charlotte felt she had no choice other than to go public and she was keen to ensure that her fans had the opportunity to read the truth here first.

If you go to her site, she looks really smug in her head shot. Like, annoyingly so.

The Dumbest Reality Show Contestant ever!

This week, Cycle 8 of America’s Next Top Model premiered. This introduced us to Kathleen, the entertaining girl from Brooklyn with the gigantic hair. She was entertaining because she was so completely and utterly dumb! She knew it though, and this made her delightful! I tried to find clips of her being priceless (‘Tyra you’re so pretty!’ and ‘I KNOW, RIGHT?!’) because typing them doesn’t do it justice, but none could be found. I did, however, find a clip of her confessional the night before she got the boot.

Oh Kathleen, we hardly knew you.

Man Bit by Bat, Gets Rabies

Today, it was reported that the first case of rabies in twenty years was recorded in Alberta. The poor guy now just gets to salivate and relax until his death.

What I don’t get is why he didn’t get vaccinated after he got bit. He knew he got bit! Doesn’t he know anything about bats? Or rabies? Or watch The Office?

I do feel bad for him, and will pray for his family. Well, I would pray if I liked Jesus. Maybe Oprah can do something about it.

Facebook and the CIA: Totally BFF

So a (very talented) anonymous someone put out this nice propaganda piece on the evils of Facebook. This is an interesting piece and while it does suck that Facebook has the rights to sell your information, first, what did you think they were going to do with it? They have information about everything advertisers would ever want to know! Second, there is no way Facebook was an evil plan concocted by the CIA in order to track us. The video doesn’t directly state such, but it is so well done and people are so gullible and in love with drama, that it is an interpretation I wouldn’t put past people. If it really was a CIA scam, they would be asking things like credit card numbers, not how awesome Jenny and Ashley’s hook-up was.

Additionally, I can’t help but wonder if there is equal backlash against Myspace. It’s owned by NewsCorp for god’s sake. At least Facebook can claim semi-organic roots.

The way I see it is, if you join Facebook, you get what you asked for. If it bothers you this much, don’t join. Your social life won’t suffer that much. You’ll just miss out on procrastinating by looking at who has a pseudo-lesbian marriage and exactly who got who for their celebrity look-alike.

God Has a Huge Bank Account

Today the CBC reported that a guy from Indiana attempted to cash a $50,000 check from God. The check was signed “King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant.”

If God was really going to give someone money, don’t you think he’d be a little more generous? Fifty thousand hardly buys a decent place to live. There are scratch lotto tickets that give more.

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