Spoilers for “Product Recall” below.

Things that happened

It’s a light little episode this week, as we get away from the heady topics of assault and suicide and instead focus on the fluffier fare of cartoon porn, statutory rape and the fact that seven plus four equals eleven.

Let’s take those in order.

The cartoon porn plot involves the titular product recall, as Dunder Mifflin has inadvertently delivered to their customers a whole bunch of paper watermarked with a duck sodomizing a mouse. It was an act of vandalism, done by some random guy at the paper mill, but that doesn’t stop Michael from putting the office into crisis mode (Threat Level Midnight!). He organizes a press conference, forces all the office workers to work customer support and puts all the blame on Creed, who is apparently the Quality Assurance person at Dunder-Mifflin. (Did we know that?)

The press conference goes less-than-well, as only one reporter shows up (he writes the obits!) and what’s supposed to be Michael’s moment-of-redemption turns into a moment-of-shame after the customer he’s brought in to personally apologize to refuses to accept the novelty-size cheque (good for six free months of papers, or 25 reams, whichever comes first) and then gets kind of uppity about the cartoon porn. In turn, Michael throws her out of the office and tells her that he’s going to report her to the “biatch hotline.”

The customer service calls go a little better than that, thankfully. Kelly’s put in charge of teaching the accountants how to handle customers. It’s as awesome as it sounds. Kevin and Oscar take right to the challenge, apologizing with the best of them. It’s only Angela that poses a problem, as she’s seemingly incapable of saying “I’m sorry.” Kelly tries to use compliment-sandwich tactics to teach her (the compliment-sandwich is a tried and tested office strategy — I know from experience) but Angela is a lost cause. At the end of the day, she’s proven herself way better at adding seven plus four than she has at dealing with customers.

Meanwhile, Creed immediately goes all detective and works to find someone else to blame for the watermark vandalism. He manages to peg it all on a paper mill employee who was sick the day he was supposed to do his QA check. He then tips off Dwight about this woman, who promptly goes and gets the poor innocent girl fired. And then Creed, in a pure act of awesome villainy, takes up a collection for the departing paper mill employee, collecting a sizable amount of cash. Which he pockets for himself while monologuing about the lack of goodness in the world.

In way less awesome news, Michael films an apology after his embarrassing press conference. It’s bizarre and twisting and involves cue cards an American flag made out of (non-watermarked?) paper. In it, he claims that no matter what happens he will never leave Dunder-Mifflin. It doesn’t really make any sense.

Also not making a lot of sense is the whole statutory rape plot thread, which reveals itself after Andy and Jim visit a local high school to apologize after the school printed their prom invitations on the cartoon porn. See, Andy’s been bragging about his new girlfriend — he’s also been saying “beer me” often, which is awesome — but he’s shocked when he learns that she’s actually a high school student. Which is… disturbing. More disturbing? That he’s MORE shocked when he catches her talking to another male student. He proceeds to call her a bitch to the school principal and threaten to take out a yearbook ad.

We don’t really see how that one resolves itself. Potentially because it is unresolvable. But Jim and Andy DO sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” on their way back to Dunder-Mifflin in the kind of amazing moment that no other show could ever pull off.

Last, but certainly not least, all of these tangled plot threats are book-ended by twin scenes of impersonation. In one, Jim impersonates Dwight (in an outfit that cost — seven plus four! — eleven dollars to create). He does it well, with a bevy of bear references and a pitch-perfect “Michael!” Dwight actually one-ups him in the end, though, with a Jim impression that revolves almost entirely around weird mugging for the camera and having sexual intercourse with Karen.

Things That Were Good

• Creed. God, Creed. Sometimes minor comedy relief characters just fall apart when they’re given too much screen time (Todd on Scrubs is a prime example of this) but this was a hallmark episode for him. His payoff scene, with the theft and the monologue, was classic.
• The opening impersonations. It was a bit too on-the-nose, but John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson are so good at their roles that they made it work. A couple of great sight gags.
• Kelly had some absolutely amazing scenes this time out. Her chanting of “B-A-N-A-N-A-S” was delightfully endearing, as was her utter joy at getting to teach the accountants. Her and Creed really stole the show this time around.
• I’m going to put most of the Andy plot in the section below this one, but his “Beer me” lines and the “In the Jungle” singing were both great moments in an otherwise lacking subplot.

Things That Were Not So Good

• This was a mostly bad Michael episode. I don’t mind a bit of over-the-top humour, but I hate it when the show doesn’t make any sense. The apology video was long and unjustified and — worst of all! — not very funny. I mean, sure, “Biatch Hotline” was funny, but when that’s the best you got, you need better writing.
• Andy dating a high schooler? I guess it could have worked, but it needed way more time than they gave it. As it was, it came off as too outlandish and not really true to the spirit of this show. After all, why was the high school girl wearing a microphone?

Worth Watching If…

You like wildly uneven episodes that don’t really have a cohesive centre. There was some great stuff this time out (Kelly, Creed, Jim & Dwight’s impersonations, “Beer Me”) but it was mixed in with some weird moments that felt like they were cobbled together from a list of rejected ideas from earlier seasons. On the plus side, it’s the end of April, which means May starts next week, and should usher in the important episodes again.

In Five Words

Beer Me A Good Episode

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