Spoilers for “2 a.m. to 3 a.m.” below.

Things that happened

It’s May Sweeps so that must mean it’s time for… reruns? Seemingly so, as this show uses this episode to rehash plots from seasons past, modifying only the most trivial of details.

Take, for example, Cheng’s plan, which involves breaking into CTU. Something that has been done countless times before, but never with the end result of making CTU look THIS incompetent. Seriously, here is Cheng’s recipe for breaking into CTU: Step 1) Hire a guy who looks like Asian Freddie Mercury. Step 2) Have Asian Freddie Mercury and his team sneak through the sewers and plant a bomb and some sort of communication-disrupting doowhackey under the CTU building. Step 3) Enter and shoot a bunch of people.

At least the nerve gas CTU attack was inspired. The latest attack had no finesse, and worked only to make CTU look desperately insecure and entirely incapable of defending their own offices, much less the country, from terrorism.

In other plot-recycling news, the once-evil now-lame Lisa is forced by Tom Lennox and the Veep to go back to her boyfriend, the Evil Russian Spy, and tell him that the circuit board has been destroyed (even though it hasn’t!). It’s remarkably similar to that great first season episode where that nice young girl had to pretend she didn’t know Eric Drazen was a terrorist and sleep with him, except in this case the stakes are far far lower. Because the Evil Russian Spy doesn’t strike me as that evil, honestly. He’s just a Russian guy who really likes Russia. That’s hardly a crime, is it?

In any case, she is awkward and obvious about the fact that she has sinister intentions but he totally doesn’t pick up on any of that because he is so dedicated to getting her clothes off. The episode ends with them having terse sex.

Also going on this episode: more CTU High School drama. Morris and Chloe are broken up! But still trying to maintain a professional relationship! But also letting everybody know that they have broken up! Doyle and Nadia are making goo-goo eyes at one another, to the point that Milo starts to grow concerned that maybe his magical kiss from a few hours back was not as magical as he was led to believe. He confronts Nadia and is all “Hey, it is cool if you want to make out with Ricky Schroder” because he’s a bit of a wuss.

Not that it matters, anyway, because during that whole CTU invasion I mentioned up there, Milo gets shot. See, once Asian Mercury and his band of rebels make their way into the hardly-defended building they immediately ask the leader of CTU to identify him or herself. And Milo identifies himself as the leader before Nadia can. Which is kind of egocentric and more than a little sexist, but she seems to take it pretty well. Especially after he gets shot in the fucking head. I mean, she’s sad, but I think she’s more than a little relieved. Bullets to the head can hurt.

So why is Cheng ordering a break-in of CTU in the first place? Well, apparently it has everything to do with one Josh Bauer. Remember how the circuit board Cheng got from the nuke was broken, and he needed someone to fix it? Well, apparently the one guy with the uncanny ability to fix nuclear circuit boards is Philip Bauer. (He’s back! And not yet asleep! I hope he took a nap during his off-screen time!) Philip’s only condition was for Cheng to get him his grandson, which necessitated the whole CTU break-in because Josh and Marilyn were still being held there — some ten hours later, which indicates to me that CTU is way worse than the ER.

At the end of the episode, CTU is still under siege. Jack Bauer, after gaining release from his holding cell, manages to shoot a bunch of them and almost get Josh and Marilyn out of the building, but gets caught at the last second. And once Asian Freddie Mercury starts threatening his mom, Josh gives himself up. Philip has his grandson again, Cheng has his working circuit board and CTU is essentially out-of-commission.

And that’s where we leave it when the clock starts ticking.

Things that were good

• I was so bored with this episode until the bad guys got into CTU. I hate everything about the plot recycling going on this season, but having the CTU staff face danger is an easy way to create compelling scenes. Plus, it actually got Jack doing things again! With a gun and everything! That’s such a rarity on this show now.
• At last, we’re back to Philip Bauer. I’m not sure I have a whole lot of patience for this plot left, especially considering the mostly nonsensical twist this episode tried to sell us — they were about to release Josh and Marilyn anyway, why not just wait a few hours? — but he’s definitely the most interesting unexplored character they have left. Hopefully he gets significantly more screen time in the last three episodes.
• I guess the obvious solution to this whole CTU-under-siege mess is Ricky Schroder storming in and saving the day all by himself. And I’ve got to say — and this surprises even me — that that’s not such a bad thing.

Things that were not so good

• Holy crap, I don’t ask for a lot of creativity from this show, but I do expect better than outright recycling. This is getting so cheap and lazy. Terrible writing all around this season.
• Milo dying. Did they bring him back just so they could kill him off and answer that pesky “Where’s Milo?” question with a simple “Dead!”? He was a good character and his death, while shocking, didn’t do much beyond making me feel a little bad for Nadia.
• Who, by the way, sucks a lot.

Worth Watching if…

Eh. This was mostly set up for what could be a good episode next week. You don’t really need to watch this one, as there was a lot of empty build-up and filler as they set up the CTU siege. The best I can say is that I am actually kind of looking forward to the next hour.

In Five Words

Next They’ll Recycle the Cougar

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