“Resignation” spoilers below:

Things that happened

A girl at karate class (whose name we find out later is Addy), coughs up blood after kicking a boy’s ass. Since the boy didn’t hit her and no one knows what is causing the blood, she is off to PPTH and put into the hands of House and his team!

All the standard tests are normal, but at every new epiphany, Addy gets new symptoms. The scary eye thing was negative and her MRI resulted in her head looking like it is rotting. House decides it is this really, really, really rare, untestable and incurable protein deficiency. Addy needs to have a stroke or heart attack to confirm this diagnosis. The followers really, really, really want House to be wrong and think it is cancer. But they are wrong! House is right! Addy is going to die! And House doesn’t care!

This lack of caring stems directly into two subplots in this episode. First, in the last episode, Foreman submitted his resignation because he doesn’t want to end up like House. He thinks he is becoming a jerk and since House is a total jerk (which he completely and utterly acts like this episode. I can’t figure out if it is because he really is this big a jerk or acted worse than usual as rebuff to Foreman’s fears). Cameron tells Foreman he needs to take the good with the bad, Cuddy tells him there are worse things to turn into than House because he is such an amazing doctor, Wilson says something really incoherent (more on that later) but can be summed up in “Don’t quit. I’m right”, and while Chase says nothing, everyone thinks that Foreman doesn’t want to leave.

Wilson was incoherent because he was yawning. Well, the yawn was only the start. Because he was yawning House decides to figure out why (he thinks Wilson is on anti-depressants!) and slips him some Vicodin. This makes Wilson go insane and super jittery, but he figures out what happened and in retaliation, slips House some anti-depressants. House gets happy/hazy/happy/hazy and when he figures this out, he gets pissed. But it is okay because it causes him to have another epiphany!

Addy doesn’t have the super rare incurable disease! Instead she tried to kill herself with Mr. Clean (well, since Mr. Clean doesn’t sponsor this show and probably wouldn’t appreciate such a shout-out [see the episode of The Office when they made Chili's look bad] they use the generic term “kitchen cleaners”), but did it wrong because she is college educated (lesson: don’t go to college) and now, instead if killing her quickly, it’s doing it slowly by contaminating every part of her body. Some surgery, some detox and some therapy and she will be fine!

Despite the fact House is a mega-asshole in this episode, not caring people are quitting, and not caring people are dying and tricking people into doing drugs and the like, he manages to score a date with Piper Perabo, who I have a total girl-crush on. She applies for Foreman’s job, even though she is totally unqualified. The episode ends with her and House at a bar, without Foreman’s resignation being resolved! Uh-oh!

Things that were good

• Wilson being high was totally adorable, and completely believable. No, not the acting, but the fact House would do such a thing. I really like this new role Wilson has been given within the show.
• When Chase totally kissed House’s ass and Foreman called him on it, Chase immediately went back to blatant ass kissing. Love it!
• I also love every time Foreman wears pink or purple.
• Cuddy’s weird pseudo-crush on House. If they don’t get together in the series finale (even if it doesn’t air for the next ten years), I will cry.
• I like how Foreman quitting didn’t get immediately wrapped up in a single episode, like it usually does when people threaten to quit!

Things that were not so good

• House was completely unlikable this episode. While he doesn’t care about his patients feelings, at least have enough decency to respect them and don’t yell at them while they are dying!
• Piper’s name was Honey. If she and House get married, her name will be Honey House.
• Piper can also do way better than that lame World of Warcraft playing, cheese-burger eating loser she was dating in the beginning. Like House. Even when I hate him, I love him.
• Wilson, depressed?! Who else saw that coming from a mile away?
• This episode was way too theme-y for me. While I enjoy related plots and sub-plots the hit-you-over-the-head-Seventh-Heaven- redundancy was way too much.
• When House was sleeping and Cameron came to wake him, two things were freaky. First, it took her thirty seconds to arrive at his house after calling him so unless she called him from outside his door that is a huge time discrepancy and second, who doesn’t lock their door at night? Especially when you are hated as House? Did he not learn anything from the last time he left his door unlocked– which was the very last episode we watched?
• I’m glad House has – for once – decided to listen to Wilson and try anti-depressants. Maybe they will make a difference.
• Cameron is losing her bangs! Now there is nothing left of her to like!

Worth watching if

It’s the weakest House episode in a while, but it’s still solid. Wilson high, Chase kissing ass, and Cuddy’s stylish yet weird and inappropriate outfits are always enjoyable. Foreman was unusually whiny, Chase was unusually ass-kissy, House was unusually mean, Wilson was unusual and Cameron was useless. If anything, watch it to watch House hit on Piper at the end. If that doesn’t get her into bed, I don’t know what will.

In Five Words

Foreman, His Jokes Are Excellent