Top Five Letters of the Alphabet
A blog post by erin, posted on May 9, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Darren Rowse over at problogger has a neat project going on. If you submit a Top 5 list about anything you want, submit it to the site, and link to a couple of your favorite lists (yes, this means you have to read stuff. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun!), you could win $1001 dollars, courtesy of Chitika, get a ton of traffic and get hooked up with lots of other bloggers! So I figure, hey why not give it a go? Then I got stuck. I definitely used up all my good ideas on top ten lists (that princess list was a good idea!). On my bike ride home, I thought and thought (because thinking of top five lists is way more fun than thesis writing): I’m obsessed with baby names, I love the environment, I love women’s basketball, I watch a lot of television, I could cop out and try to link to my other blogs in my quest into become a millionaire blogger by whoring my work out, the list is endless. And now, I sit at my computer, trying to figure out what the hell to write, I realize, that in the end, it doesn’t matter. First, because the winner of this contest will be drawn at random. Second, Matt is the far more popular blogger on this site (I’m okay with it. I have my Top Model niche and my celebrity fan sites and it makes me happy!). Third, because this contest is over tomorrow and I better write something fast! Thus, I’m just going to write about my favorite letters of the alphabet. Why? Because I have favorite letters. It comes from writing this damn much. And being this neurotic.
Top Five Letters in the English Alphabet
#5: H
This choice is more for personal reasons that the actual awesomeness of the letter. For some reason, every year on Christmas Eve, TSN shows a children’s spelling bee. And every year my family (we don’t like each other much) watches it. When I was 11 or 12, a girl was asked to spell “H”. The following scene was pure comedy gold, with the perplexed girl and the dead-panning, stone-faced, poorly dressed moderator:
“Can I have the definition please?”
“H is the letter H in the English language.”
“Can I have the origin please?”
“It is an English letter.”
“Can I have it in a sentence please?”
“The eighth letter in the English alphabet is H.”
The poor girl spelled it wrong. However, I learned two important things: first, all letters can be spelled and second, you spell H like this: a-i-t-c-h. Who knew?!
#4: Z
ZED! That’s right, zed. It’s NOT zee and it never will be, you damn Americans. Why should you know this? Because the leader –the leader — of Men in Black was named Zed, in a world where all the agents were named after letters. If that doesn’t end this argument, I don’t what will. Plus, zzzzzzzzzzzzz is a pretty fun sound. Zebra. Zoo. Pizza. Puzzle. Pizazz. All fun words! They’re even better with exclamation points after: Zebra! Zoo! Pizza! Puzzle! Pizazz!
#3: Q
q is like that mom next door. She’s a little quirky and you don’t really ‘get’ her, but she’s always faithful and you know exactly what to expect. She’s never without u, she gardens on Tuesday afternoons and likes her magazines stack in reverse alphabetical order for reasons you’ll never understand. Until, one day, you play Scrabble and someone throws down qaid or qoph or qiviut on a triple-word square, and you discover that the cardigan-wearing, cookie-baking sweetheart with the mom jeans, minivan and bad hair has a very kinky sex life. And it disturbed you a little. Okay, it disturbs you A LOT.
#2: W
W is ridiculous. The sound it makes has no resonance with the sound you make to spell it. I don’t understand it AT ALL. wuh = double-you? No way man. But this is why I like W. It defies convention. It looks the alpha-phonetic rules of the English language in the eye and says “Fuck you man. That shit don’t fly with me.” Even worse (better?!) W is NOT a double u. It’s a double defiance!
#1: Y
At first glance, Y seems like a lame choice. It’s in a lot of words. It’s not a very strong or unique sound. Most names ending in Y are lame, especially boys names ending in why (I could totally beat up a Cory, a Cody, a Gary, a Barry, a Jay, any one of these boys. Bring ‘em on. And my name isn’t even Zed!). But Y is Y my first choice: it’s a consonant! It’s a vowel! And it’s a word! Especially in today’s brutalized text-messaging fueled English, Y is a perfectly acceptable spelling as it is a phonetical relation. Example: Y R U l8? I hate it, but since my current fan base consists of thirteen year old girls who are writing me fan mail like that, I need to get used to it. So while W is the loud mouth bad-ass rules-defying activist, Y is the dude who organized the protest, wore a suit and tie, wrote a professionally, yet strongly, worded letter to those in charge, and got face time with them. He’s the dude who gets shit done. Why else would X have to be between W and Y in the alphabet song anyways?
Here’s some Top Fives entered in the contest I really enjoyed! I’ll post more as I read more.
Top Five Tools Every Blogger Should Use by Scott
Top 5 Monkey Songs by Martin Breton
Shut Up And Write by Eli James
The Top 5 Things I Hate Drawing by Matt Glover
The Top 5 Strangest Things I’ve Learned While Blogging by Robert Hruzek
# 5 Top European Cities I’d move to next by Juergen Horn
Matt also wrote a Top Five about his favorite elements. I hope he submits it. Go check it out! His old blog is new again!
Let us know about the Top Five list you write!
erin balser’s internet space » contest wrote:
[...] entered the Top Five contest over at problogger. Check out my (seriously lame) post about the alphabet over at [...]
Posted on 09-May-07 at 3:57 pm | Permalink
Robert Hruzek wrote:
Erin, you’re list is good, but Y do I like it?
Oh, and thanks for the nod!
Posted on 09-May-07 at 7:43 pm | Permalink
Robert Hruzek wrote:
Erin, I can’t understand Y I like your list…
But thanks for the nod!
Posted on 09-May-07 at 7:45 pm | Permalink
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richard wrote:
Very good post, but, I feel the letter Y is a rather controversial choice as number 1.
I feel you should really have considered the merits of M.
Mmmmm is Tasty
M is in the middle of the alphabet.
M used to make lots of cool gadgets for James Bond.
Posted on 10-May-07 at 7:24 am | Permalink
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Nancy wrote:
Q! I’m all for Q. That would have been my #1.
PS – That story about the spelling bee is fantastic.
Posted on 10-May-07 at 2:24 pm | Permalink
Day 3: Top 5 of the Top 5 Group Writing Project » Color Blindness viewed through Colorblind Eyes » Colblindor wrote:
[...] Top Five Letters of the Alphabet […] But Y is Y my first choice: it’s a consonant! It’s a vowel! And it’s a word! Especially in today’s brutalized text-messaging fueled English, Y is a perfectly acceptable spelling as it is a phonetical relation. Example: Y R U l8? […] [...]
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The Top 5 Supporting Characters on NBC's 'The Office' « Cultural Learnings wrote:
[...] I need to give a shoutout to Erin for her Top 5 Letters of the Alphabet. Yes, technically, I would have gone with M (I’m a real conceited bastard in some ways), but I [...]
Posted on 10-May-07 at 5:29 pm | Permalink
Scott wrote:
Thanks for the link back to my site Erin! Just making sure, the “H” girl, as I’m sure she will forever be known, isn’t you right?
Anyways I enjoy your site. I’ll have to check back again
Posted on 10-May-07 at 9:26 pm | Permalink
Best of the Best Top 5 | 52 Novels wrote:
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Top 5 Group Writing Project: And the Lucky Winner Is? | aczafra.com [Librarianship with a dash of everything] wrote:
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Top Five at Pro Blogger (2 of 3)…
Darren Rowse recently drew in Top 5 – Group Writing Project – Full Submission List from 893 participants in the ‘Top 5′ Group Writing Project. Our final entry list below showed the kind of expertise (and also a bit of……
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Monique wrote:
I grew up in the Detroit area and would often watch CBC. I hated those damn “Club Zed” commercials for some store. (Zellers?)
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