First off, I want to apologize for pretty much bailing on the recapping of Studio 60. Before it went on hiatus, it sucked. But it sucked in an interesting sort of way — a way that kept me wanting to watch. Even though it drove me crazy. However, now it just plain sucks. The current premise — comedy writers orchestrating the returning an international hostage — is just silly and being done without a single hint of irony. It’s all serious, as if this plot line is fathomable.

Can anyone imagine Lorne Michaels doing this? No. Enough said.

I feel 30 Rock could pull this story line off. It’s a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Tina Fey and company would recognize the insanity of it all and they would enjoy the ride. Aaron Sorkin, on the other hand, writes as if he feels he is making a difference somewhere. As if fictional comedy writers are important.

While the war is a tired topic, it still could have potential in the right hands. But Sorkin is not even putting a fresh spin on it. He just got up on day and decided to pretend that Studio 60 was a reincarnation of the West Wing and thus, topics like war and international kidnapping were completely appropriate.

Additionally, my life went on hiatus during this time period and it was hard to settle into a routine. Classes ended, I was home in Nova Scotia where the combination of drugs and dial-up made putting together anything coherent was near impossible. Now I’m back and healthy and really don’t have an excuse, other than the fact I am lazy. The 10pm time slot is annoying too, because my brain stops functioning after that time. Who wants to write about something that makes you as angry as Studio 60 makes me when you are sleepy? No one, that’s who.

This recap is from the episode two weeks ago. Hopefully, I’ll have the recap from last week’s episode up soon and we can all be happy again.

Spoilers for “Breaking News” below:

Things that happened

We open and the show-within-the-show is just about to start. Everything is crazy and chaotic, which is nice to see, because far too often does this show-within-the-show has empty hallways, understaffed departments and other departments going completely MIAs. (Dumb, completely replaceable prop guys.)

During all this, we find out that Tom’s brother, who emails him before every single show (who knew soldiers got that regular access to email? Not me!), hasn’t emailed him yet. Harriet, because she is turning into one of those really nosy super-Christian old ladies at my church before her hair is even going gray and she decides to dye it blue and wear holiday themed sweaters, is freaking out about this. To add to the worry, her new bffs, Tom’s parents, keep calling her because they haven’t heard from Mark in a while. This can’t be good.

The show-within-the-show is having a ratings crisis (oooh, how meta of you, Aaron Sorkin), so Jack (one of the few saving graces on this show), decides it is only appropriate to drink constantly and not-so-subtlely tell everyone about this new machine that can mathematically break-down comedy and tell people exactly what works and what doesn’t. By using this machine maybe Matt can learn to be funny again.

But he will never be funny again! Why? Because he is on drugs! And in love with Harriet! In fact he is high right now! Suzanne calls him on it, and we find out about her terrible crack addicted suicidal mother, which makes me feel bad for Suzanne, but also makes me want to punch a wall. Matt promises he will never get high again, then immediately goes and pops some hidden in a vitamin bottle. Ooohhh, sneaky. Since Suzanne’s intervention didn’t work, Danny, for former-drug-addicted- yore comes along and tries his turn at an intervention. This feels so Degrassi Junior High right now. After some crap about all he went through, he pulls the truth out: Matt sucks at writing when he is high. This is bad. Matt knows this and wants to stop, really he does, he just hates feeling so sad. Because he loves Harriet.

While Matt is getting all these soul searching interventions, lawyer-whore, Mary Tate is wondering around, flitting between taking names and kicking butt and batting her eyelashes and acting like a high school flirt. It’s really annoying and not at all cohesive. What makes it even more annoying is that Aaron Sorkin used to be good at this type of flirty-workplace banter (Casey and Dana, Jeremy and Natalie, C.J. and Danny and Josh and Donna) and here it just falls really, really flat.

Anyways, Mary is around because the fired writer, Karen is still suing the show about her unrightful termination. Also, when she tried to get another job, the guy considering hiring her called Matt and Matt really screwed up by telling him she sucked. She did suck, but that’s not the point. The point is a writers’ room is a terrible place for a woman and men will never, ever, ever understand that. The only reason Lucy is still around is because she suffered through two seasons and a Christmas special with David Brent as her boss and compared to that, this is easy. It doesn’t help Harriet screwed up too and admitted that the writers’ room is a tough place for a woman. Bad, bad Harriet. Mary tries to fix it and this creates superficial tensions between Harriet and Mary because Harriet still fundamentally believes if she-doesn’t-want-him-then-no-one-else-can-have-him when it comes to Matt. Mary gets a date out of the entire deal anyway.

Finally, we get around to Jordan. All she wants to do is talk about the terrible ratings, but can’t with Jack because he is delightfully drunk and in love with that comedy-making machine. Danny refuses because she is carrying a baby he wish was his. Also, he is having a really hard time with the fact his girlfriend is his boss, despite the fact she was his boss before she was his girlfriend. This results in Jordan fantastically spazzing out on Danny in a way that made me realize she might actually be good at her job.

When the show is over, everyone is ready to party. Okay, that was a lie. No one is ready to party. Why? Jordan can’t feel the baby kick and hasn’t all day and must go to the hospital and everyone else heard NBS just got footage of Tom’s brother, who is a hostage in Afghanistan now.

Things that were good

• Jordan actually acted like she was a network executive for the first time since the pilot. Yes, it was only for 30 seconds, and yes, half the reason she was that pissed was because her boyfriend is a douche bag, but still. I almost believed she deserved her job when she was yelling at Danny. Almost.
• The mini-plot of Matt messing with the announcer to get him to say Studio City then he actually does was pretty cute.
• Tom and Lucy are the only two characters that are adorable and that I actually care about anymore. He likes her so much! Their scenes are so cute! Awwwww…..
• Jack Rudolph saves this show. Aaron Sorkin obviously hates him, considering the only thing Steve Weber gets to do anymore is hang out and drink endlessly, but even with bad lines and no plots, Steve is my hero.
• Watching this episode means there is one less episode that I have to watch.
• Jenna Fischer was the guest host! But she was only on screen for 30 seconds for the goodnights and that was very sad.
• The last five minutes of this show, as everyone finds out about Tom’s situation and goes to the control room are some of the best five minutes Studio 60 has put together. I believe this is so because it was revolving around Jack, my new savior, and Tom, the most adorable cast member ever. I want Jack, Tom, Lucy and that slutty Asian chick from four episodes back to cancel this show and run off into the sunset with Jack’s new machine and make delightful television comedy for us all to enjoy.

Things that were not so good

• What was with the Lawyer-whore? It’s obvious she is very intelligent and good at her job and just when I’m like “yes! A decent girl character!” she goes all dumb cheerleader and stupid and flirts with matt. Now, I’m not against the workplace flirtations, but this character is completely disjointed and bi-polar. And as much as I love Matthew Perry he did nothing in this episode to deserve the love of a hot blonde with a supposed IQ of 210.
• This whole Matt-on-drugs sideplot is the worst thing ever. Why? It’s Sorkin completely rehashing how hard his job and life is and how no one gives him credit for anything (because if he cant get that point across in every single plotline of every single episode he has failed); Danny just got over drugs, and it is way, way, way too soon to be recycling plot lines, I don’t care I your show is canceled and you’ve stopped trying, this is just lame. Also, Matt started taking drugs two episodes ago. I’m going to assume that each episode represents a week, so he’s been a druggie for maybe 3 weeks. While this is feasible, here, it just feels so rushed and contrived. It’s like they went “man this Harriet thing isn’t resonating with viewers — Matt needs another problem!” and voila, instant drug addiction.
• Harriet is a shrill, annoying and nosy person. Remember how Tom’s parents came to set? And they didn’t understand anything or know anyone? So why are they and Harriet so buddy-buddy this episode? Also, yeah, it sucks Tom’ brother didn’t email him like always, but until Tom tells you, Harriet, it’s none of your business. Having Jesus on your side doesn’t give you the right to be nosy.
• This show makes me so unbelievably angry.

Worth Watching if…

Gah. I really have nothing to say to this. And it’s sad, but having written this recap after the episode after this one already aired, I can promise you it gets worse. I’d watch it because it really is hard to believe Aaron Sorkin sucks this much. I know it’s not fair to place the entire onus on him, but the actors in this show are fantastic, the camera work is amazing and the score is enjoyable. It comes down to the fact these characters are completely unlikable and the only person we can blame that on is their creator. Why, Aaron, why? Do you really hate Kristine Chenowheth this much?

In Five Words

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