Interlude #10, Part III erin

Erin: Ooooh….Kristine MSNed me!
Erin: “So what did you and Matt talk about?”
Erin: Apocalypse alarms and playing jokes on astronauts
Matt: Hahaha
Matt: Both of these things are brilliant.
Erin: Of course they are!
Erin: Do we ever discuss anything that’s not brilliant?
Erin: (WHHHOOOOWHOOOO)
Matt: Hahahaha
Matt: Man that’s effective.
Erin: Just for clarification that was the ego alarm and not me making an objective comment on your attractiveness.
Erin: I am NOT a construction worker!
Matt: It can’t be both? God dammit.
Erin: That defeats the purpose of the ego alarm!!!!!
Matt: “I take the ego alarm as to mean I am very handsome!”
Matt: It has two purposes!
Erin: One DEFEATS the other!
Matt: It is a dichotomy.
Matt: I bet you use THAT word in your thesis.
Erin: Dualism!
Erin: In reference to ego alarms of course.
Matt: Of course!
Matt: What else is there?
Erin: man and nature
Erin: male and female
Erin: body and soul
Matt: Ice cream and fish
Erin: spaghetti and Shakespeare
Erin: Oh that’s alliteration
Erin: Sorry.
Matt: Roller-skates and Jupiter.
Erin: You could roller-skate on Jupiter.
Erin: NOT a dichotomy!
Matt: Isn’t Jupiter just made of gas?
Erin: Very dense gas.
Matt: You can roller-skate on very dense gas?
Erin: I don’t know!
Erin: I’ve never been to Jupiter!
Matt: You probably could.
Matt: I could not.
Erin: But we can make fun of the astronauts who do go!


Interlude #10, Part II erin

Matt: So there could be FALSE apocalypse alarms?
Matt: That would suck.
Erin: No it wouldn’t
Erin: We’d get used to it!
Matt: Too many and it would be like the fire alarms in first year.
Matt: We’d sleep through them.
Erin: And reveal ridciloss things for the sake of drama!
Erin: Wow, I typed ridiculous very very wrong.
Matt: At least you don’t spell it with an e.
Erin: Whenever there was a newbie to the apocalypse alarm it would be the best practical joke EVER!
Matt: How would someone be a newbie to the apocalypse alarm?
Erin: I don’t know!
Matt: An apocalypse alarm would have to be a global thing!
Matt: You can’t have a localized apocalypse.
Erin: Perhaps they were in solitary confinement.
Erin: Or in space
Matt: That would be crazy.
Matt: Oh man.
Matt: Playing jokes on astronauts.
Matt: That has potential.
Erin: hahahahaha
Erin: It would be so awesome
Erin: Especially when we are adults and have astronauts coming back from Mars or similar
Erin: They would have been in space for YEARS
Erin: Imagine the jokes!
Matt: “Since you left we all decided it was cool to wear polyester slacks again!”
Matt: Or something.
Matt: And then they would and it would be a fashion faux pas.
Erin: Exactly.


Interlude #10 matt

Erin: Whoowhoowhoo.
Erin: That’s the ego alarm.
Erin: It’s more fun to make the sound than yell out ‘ego alarm!’
Matt: This is true.
Matt: And the ego alarm will help us in the long run.
Erin: It’s true
Matt: Ensuring we do not spiral out of control.
Erin: We can keep our egos in check.
Erin: Keep ourselves humble.
Erin: But it’ll be embarassing when it goes off in public.
Matt: Because it’s not a real alarm and we’ll just be making the sound ourselves?
Erin: Exactly.
Erin: If it was a real alarm people would think there was a fire.
Erin: Or burglars.
Matt: Or an air raid!
Erin: Ooooh. Good one!
Erin: An ambulance!
Matt: The ghostbusters!
Erin: The apocalypse.
Matt: There’s an apocalypse alarm?
Erin: I’m assuming there will be.
Matt: What are you supposed to DO when you hear it?
Erin: Reveal secret loves, lies and sexual orientations.
Erin: That’s what happens before near death in the movies.
Matt: So. Like, “here is some information that will be useless to you in a few seconds! Unless there is an afterlife, in which case I was totally just kidding.”
Erin: Exactly!
Erin: But then they usually don’t die and then you know the TRUTH.
Erin: And become closer because of it.
Matt: Inspirational.


Interlude #9 matt

Matt: What would be a good name for a Matthew Perry character?
Erin: Hmmmmm.
Matt: It can only be Matt, I would argue.
Erin: Carl.
Matt: CARL?
Erin: Yup.
Matt: Bullshit!
Erin: Why is it bullshit?
Matt: Because Carls are, like, overweight police officers who are black.
Erin: You are sooooooooooo wrong.
Erin: Carls are middle-aged middle-class white guys who hate their jobs.
Matt: Name some famous Carls!
Erin: Oh. Hmm.
Erin: I can’t.
Erin: Fine.
Matt: So a Carl could never be an award-winning comedy writer.
Erin: What about Joel?
Matt: Joel.
Matt: I guess that could work.
Erin: It could!
Erin: Or Jack?
Matt: Jack is more of a tough guy name. There’s no comedy there.
Erin: Wait.
Matt: What?
Erin: That science guy was a Carl.
Matt: Which science guy?
Erin: SAGAN
Erin: He was brilliant.


Interlude #8 matt

Matt: Lying doesn’t matter unless it’s really huge.
Matt: And even then, sometimes it doesn’t.
Matt: Like if you told me you just wrestled a giant octopus, even if you didn’t.
Matt: It’s not like that lie would hurt me.
Erin: EXACTLY
Matt: I’d be like “Huh. Giant Octopus. Good work.”
Erin: Okay. One day I’m going to dress up like a pirate and stand on the boardwalk and tell tourists about wrestling a giant octopus.
Erin: You could play the octupus and we could act it out.
Matt: Yes. People would be like “There’s no way you could beat a giant octopus! You’re just a girl!”
Matt: And then I would emerge from the shadows and you would kick me in the head.
Erin: Exactly!
Erin: And be victorious!
Matt: It would be about feminism, really.
Erin: It would be a postmodern statement about the state of women’s rights.
Erin: It would win awards.