Matt: In any case, I conceded. The debate is over. It is time for the post-debate dance party.
Matt: *parties*
Erin: *also parties*
Erin: *pretends to do tequila shot*
Matt: *is funky and cool*
Erin: *is thinking how that is not true*
Matt: *is reading your thoughts with his telepathy*
Erin: *is wondering if he is really reading my thoughts and is hoping he will tell me what he thinks I am thinking*
Matt: You are thinking that I am not cool and/or funky!
Matt: Sadly.
Erin: It’s true.

Matt: DAVE from the movie DAVE?
Erin: YES
Matt: I need to watch that movie again soon.
Erin: Me too.
Erin: It’s awesome.
Erin: And In and Out too
Erin: I like Kevin Kline way more than I should.
Matt: Kevin Kline is some sort of genius.
Erin: And Tom Selleck is gay in In and Out.
Erin: Which makes the entire movie worth it.
Matt: Yes. Tom Selleck is so rarely gay.

Matt: I like to think that you were a contract killer until you found me and realized there was more out there than just killing and death and contracts.
Erin: No. I’m going to kill you. And when I’m done with you, everyone will think we just ran off together
Matt: Daaaamn.
Erin: Fuck yeah
Matt: Well, telling me your plan is clearly your first mistake.
Erin: Because you will be able to eschew it?
Erin: (You WON’T)
Matt: I’ll eschew the FUCK out of it.
Erin: You can’t eschew the fuck out of anything
Matt: No way. I totally can.
Matt: World-class eschewer.
Erin: Let’s step back a second
Erin: You typed the sentence “I’ll eschew the FUCK out of it.”
Erin: And I’m currently finding that extremely hilarious
Erin: I must be going crazy.
Matt: No, it is a legitimately hilarious thing that I typed.
Matt: Share it with your friends!

Matt: This Marie Antoinette movie baffles me.
Erin: I know.
Erin: Forever she’s been depicted as an idiot.
Erin: And all of a sudden she’s a martyr for feminsim?
Erin: It makes no sense
Matt: It’s Kirsten Dunst. She’s awesome at playing idiots.
Erin: I think it largely has to do with the fact she IS one
Matt: She’d be awesome in an animated film as the voice of, like, a big bag full of lumber.
Matt: People would be like “That is an amazing performance as the voice of lumber.”

Matt: Like, you know how I was supposed to write an essay today?
Erin: Yup
Matt: I did not have the book yet.
Matt: So I went to the bookstore.
Matt: And guess what happened!
Erin: It wasnt there!
Matt: Out of stock!
Erin: Oh no!
Matt: I know!
Matt: So then I went to see if the LIBRARY had it!
Matt: And guess what?
Erin: It wasnt there!
Matt: It wasn’t!
Erin: Oh no!
Matt: So then I was like FUCK.
Matt: Because FUCK.
Erin: FUCK
Matt: FUCK.
Erin: FUCK!
Erin: I have decided “fuck” is the most fun word ever.
Erin: But continue your story.